We didn't share a bloodline or a family name but she touched my life in a way that I know I can't adequately express with words. She came into my life when I was a 16 year-old senior in high school through a program called Seniors Helping Seniors. My friends and I, looking to beef up our high school service resumes, volunteered for the program that matched teenagers with older people who might need assistance over the holidays with tasks like putting up Christmas trees, hanging lights, or addressing cards. None of my friends had luck getting in touch with their matches. They were either hung up on or dismissed quickly with a rough word. I was not looking forward to making my first call to Mrs. Finch and almost decided it wasn't even worth the effort. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind made me pick up the phone after days and days of procrastination and when she answered I quickly explained to her who I was and what I was available to help her with. I'll never, ever, as long as I live forget what she said to me when I was done with my obligatory 15 second spiel:
"Let me tell you what I ain't got. I ain't got no lights, I ain't got no tree, and I ain't got no family."
I was taken aback to say the least. And when I arrived at her home later that afternoon I found all of that to be true. Her little house was old but well-kept. Large but lonely. It was obvious that she didn't get much company and after a short visit she made me promise to see her the next day. It wasn't long before seeing her became a regular part of my day; in fact, it was becoming the part I looked forward to the most. She had many stories to tell - like about the time she rode a pig as a little girl, the dance she would go to at the American Legion and nursing her father, mother, and brother during their last days.
But she was also a great listener. She wanted to know all about my life at school and she had a knack for remembering every detail although she never, ever remembered a name. For the entirety of our 8 year relationship that lasted until her death in 2004 she called me "the baby". If she ever tried to call me by my name it came out "Ernie". By the time I went away to college the year after our friendship started I had become her lifeline to the world. I worried about her when I was away but my mom quickly stepped up and became her most reliable caretaker - taking her to the doctor, sorting out and paying her bills, and keeping her company almost daily.
I visited her everytime I came home from college but when I finally graduated and got married I thought it might break her heart. I was her baby. And she was my little old lady. We moved to Ohio and started our married life. We called and visited as often as we could. When she died in April of 2004 we got in our car and drove the 10 hours back home to be at her funeral. I cried like a baby (her baby) during the whole thing - especially when Brent and my stepdad gave her eulogy. I missed her terribly (and still do) but I found comfort in the fact that she knew how much we loved her. And she knew that she finally had a family.
And she knew that if we ever had a daughter we would name her Sarah.
30 comments:
Wow Erin - such a great story, thanks for sharing it!
My eyes are welling up with tears as I type. How wonderful of you to do something like that as a senior. Many seniors (especially these days) are so self-involved that they would never take the time to do something like this. It gives me hope for my children and for myself as an elderly person. It also makes me miss my granny who passed away 2 years ago. But it makes me feel good that I spent a lot of time with her when I was a teen and in my early 20s as well. Thank you for such a moving post. The picture of your Sarah is breathtaking as well. I wish we lived closer so you could capture images like that of my kiddos. I do enjoy learning from and drawing inspiration from you.
Beautiful story and beautiful little girl - Sarah Lucille would be proud I'm sure!
wow--amazing story, you touched my heart.....so so much. i am so proud of you for taking such great care of her and mostly for loving her. and so glad you got that same thing back for yourself. i am sitting her bawling like a baby. that photo of your dd is gorgeous!
tara
I will never forget her. She gave my life purpose when I needed it most. I was so glad to have stepped in when you went away to college. I would not trade one minute of the time spent with her, and I'm so proud of the caring teenager you were then and wonderful wife and mother that you are now. I love you, Mom
What a wonderful story.
What a great tribute to a feisty, fun lady!! From "the doctor"!
Lovely story. Very sweet.
That's so much nicer than saying, I just really love the name Sarah. And, I've never met a Sarah I haven't liked. Which, are still true.
What a nice way to keep your senior Sarah's memory alive :)
I am sitting here just bawling my eyes out! What a wonderful legacy for your daughter.
I can tell just by reading your blog every day that you are just the right kind of person who would be able to make interpersonal connections in some of the trickiest situations. You just have that certain likeablness about yourself that makes you so easy to relate to. Thanks so much for sharing this inspiring story. Older people have always been such an important part of my life, but since having kids and moving hundreds of miles from the tiny rural town I grew up in, older people have been mysteriously absent. Thanks for reminding me how important it is to have them in my life.
That is one of the sweetest things I have ever read. You are truly a GOOD person.
I'm choking back tears. Thanks for sharing this with us. Absolutely touching and I think it's so awesome that Sarah was named after her.
This story is so sweet...
I'm sure Sarah Lucille is pround of you where she is...
French mom
starting my morning off with tears after that one!
precious story erin!! very touching!
Gosh, you really are an amazing person. Thank you for sharing your story with us. If we could all be blessed with people like Sarah and you in our lives, this world would be a better place.
I remember you telling me about her way back in our college days, what a sweet friendship. It's so great that Sarah shares the name of someone you love so much.
What a wonderful and inspiring story. Thank you for sharing it!
What an incredibly touching story! You were both so lucky to find each other! My grandmother, Lucille, would be 97 this year, too; and like your Sarah Lucille, her birthday was in April.
Thanks for sharing that lovely story, it certainly brought tears to my eyes!
I remember that Sarah was named after her but had forgotten some of (and didn't know the rest of) the details -- it is such a beautiful story.
Thank you guys so much for all your kind words about Mrs. Finch. I was on-again, off-again crying for most of last night just thinking about her and wishing so badly that she could have known my Sarah. She would have gotten such a huge kick out of that little ball of fire. It means a lot to me that you guys read her story and responded.
That is a beautiful story. I think it is a wonderful gift to give you child a name with meaning. My newest baby was named Bonnie Rose after 2 of her great grandmothers. I hope to tell her someday about the wonderful women she is named after!
What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing such personal memories. You have such a great way of expressing yourself - through words AND photographs. I can't get enough of your pictures. I check back almost daily to see what new pictures I might be missing!
I can surely see why you named you daughter Sarah. It seems that the 2 of you were meant for each other and it's great that you were able to take the time to spend with her, and how your family filled in for you while you were off to college. What a touching story.
My favorite thing you told us about Sarah F. was how you had to talk "real Southern" or she couldn't understand her! Happy Birthday, Mrs. Finch
Thank you for taking the time to sharing the beautiful friendship that you and Mrs. Finch embraced. It's a story of love and a story that has inspired me to look beyond who I am. Amy T.
This lovely story brought a warmth to my heart and a smile to my face. I admire you and your mother for taking the time to give this woman a sense of family that she would have otherwise never known. I'm quite sure that your sweet Sarah would make Mrs. Finch quite a proud "grandma"! Thank you for this touching glimse inside of your life!
Lori
WOW, not a story I should have read sitting at my desk at work! And with eyes welled with tears and a lump in my throat the phone rings and I have to answer it professionally. Not an easy task!
You and your mom are truly beautiful women - inside and out! I'm sure Mrs. Finch is fondly watching over all of you.
Post a Comment