Mama Monday Disclaimer: I am nowhere near an expert mom. I am on a mama journey just like all of you are. However, I'm more than willing to share my experience with you guys. If today's topic is something that you have an experience with then I hope you'll share too...either on your own blog (be sure to leave us a link) or in the comments section.
As I mentioned in yesterday's post I'm really hoping that those of you who have experience with surgeries, hospital stays or health episodes will chime in with any tidbits or advice you might have. I know there are many of you out there who have experienced times like this and I appreciate those of you who have commented and emailed already!
For those of you who didn't read yesterday, Ephraim is scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning. The surgery is to correct a congenital defect and will last about two hours. We've been assured that it's still relatively minor but as a friend of ours said (who will also be the anesthetist for the surgery): "a minor surgery is one done on someone else's child."
We've spent one night in the hospital with Sarah when she was 11 months old and dehydrated from a horrible stomach virus. Then one month later she broke her leg which landed us another spot on the hospital circuit and possibly a DHR case file (kidding!). So while we haven't been the surgery route before we've spent a little bit of time in the hospital and here are some of the things I've learned from those experiences:
1. There isn't much you can do to comfort a child who's getting an IV or a catheter besides holding them and whispering calmly in his/her ear. If your child has a lovey be sure it's on hand for immediately after such procedures.
2. If you'll be spending the night in the hospital come prepared with pajamas for yourself as well as your child. If an IV will be involved bring either a short sleeve pair of jammies or a long sleeve pair that you don't mind stretching or cutting. We found that Sarah wanted to tug on her IV (what one year old wouldn't?) so having the long sleeve pulled over it helped the IV to stay in place and keep it out of sight and out of mind. Also be sure to bring two piece jammies so you're not having to strip your baby entirely every time a procedure needs to be done.
3. Bring socks. For everyone. Hospitals can be cold!
4. If the nurse informs you that the hospital policy is for your child to sleep in their sterile prisonesque crib nod your head, smile politely and do whatever feels most comfortable to you. I am an extreme rule-follower but when my child was hooked up to an IV, catheter and heart and oxygen monitors I realized quickly that some rules are meant to be broken. We fit just fine together in the twin hospital bed and I was able to protect her from yanking every tube out of her tiny body. Coincidentally the same nurse that had me sign the waiver saying I understood the hospital's crib policy stopped by an hour later and whispered in my ear that if it were her baby she would be doing the exact same thing I was. Thank you sweet nurse. Words like that mean a lot to a rule follower.
5. Pack snacks. If you're a stress eater you'll need them. And if you're stress faster (me) you'll need them too.
6. Be polite to all hospital staff. Nothing will get you better and kinder care than "thank you"s in abundance. Throw in a few "I really appreciate what you're doing"s and you'll find yourself with extra ice and pillows in no time! =)
7. Most importantly: You are your child's advocate. Respect that the medical providers know medicine best but you know your child best. Be prepared to ask for whatever it is that will make your child more comfortable.
I got an email this morning from a super-sweet reader who worked as a hospital Child Life specialist prior to staying home with her little ones. Her tips were so thorough that I thought I'd share them here as well. Thank you Jenny!
Keep Ephraim’s schedule the same the day before surgery
Make sure you all are well rested which I know is hard considering you might be nervous the night before.
I’m hoping you have someone to take care of Sarah on Tuesday? It is probably best she stay home. That in my opinion is super important, you need to focus your attention on Baby E and you don’t want anything else to try your patience. I’m sure though like my 2 ½ year old, Sarah never tries your patience. =)
Be patient with that little guy, he has every right to cry or be fussy b/c this will most likely be a stressful situation for him. He might be extra clingy or hard to comfort. Just reassure him that you love him and that you are nearby.
If Ephraim has a “lovey” type item, make sure you bring it. If he has a CD that you play for him before bed or in the car that he likes, bring it, most children’s hospitals will have a CD player available or if you aren’t sure, just bring a portable one from home if you have one.
You MUST remain calm. Ephraim will sense if you are frightened or stressed. The IV will be the hardest part for both you and him!
Make sure your nonverbal communication is positive and that your voice is calm.
Don’t be afraid to ask questions to the nurse/doc/whoever else will be handling/working with Ephraim, no question is silly or unnecessary, you have every right to know what is happening to your sweet boy.
I imagine there will be a time that he cannot eat or drink anything? This will be difficult, just be ready to give him extra love or rocking or walking.
*Take good care of yourself and your hubby. Treat yourself to a yummy starbucks drink or the equivalent of something that is a treat for you. Bottom line, remain calm, which I know, easier said than done, but trust me this will set the tone of your day.
E will have all the normal hospital things done, probably will wear a special little nightgown, and ID bracelet, will have his vitals checked. You should meet all the people that are taking care of E when he is not in your direct care – the doc, the surgical nurses, perhaps even the anesthesiologist.
They might give him a relaxing medicine to drink before they go into the operating room, this will help E be calm when he has to leave you.
After the surgery, E might be a crank…maybe, not always though. My Brady always came off of anesthesia like a champ but a lot of the kids I worked with didn’t.
He might have a rough couple days after Tuesday b/c he might sleep a lot on Tuesday and that might throw off your schedule the rest of the week, just be prepared for that.
Buddy Posters
Carrie at Three Bundles of Fun
*Also, be sure to check the comments section from yesterday's post...there's some great advice there as well!
53 comments:
Erin,
My son Colin (now 3) has severe food allergies, so we have had our fair share of visits to the hospital. Last August he had an endoscopy which required him to be under general anethesia.
My advice is to
1. Bring a blankie or other comfort object. Colin got take his with him, and when I went to the recovery room, the nurses had covered him up with it.
2. Bring his favorite cup or bottle. Colin had to drink before they would let him go home, so we brought his favorite sippy cup.
3. Bring a change of clothes for yourself (at least a shirt). My daughter threw-up all over my husband in the ER once:(
Sending lots of prayers your way!
GREAT list, Erin! There's only one thing I would add, though. If you're breastfeeding a baby who is about to undergo surgery, BRING A PUMP!! My son had surgery at 2 months old, and a friend made this suggestion to me. I almost disregarded it, but decided to throw a hand pump in my bag at the last minute anyway. I am SO glad I decided to pack it, as he was incredibly groggy after surgery and I actually ended up going FIFTEEN hours before I was able to nurse him again. He was fasting, so I was unable to nurse him for 3 hours prior to the surgery; he was in surgery for about a hour; in the PACU (sound asleep) for about 2 hours; then in a pediatric room overnight (sound asleep for most of the day)... All of those hours added up to an incredibly uncomfortable Momma!! Bring a pump. Bring a pump. BRING a pump! ;c)
My daughter Sunshine, now 3, had to have tubes put in her ears at 11 months due to several very severe ear infections. Tubes really do constitute the most minor of surgeries, it only took 20 minutes to do both ears, but they had to put her under general anesthesia to do it which was the part I was most nervous about.
Things that helped her and me included:
1. Things that are familiar. Blanket, stuffed animal, favorite book or toy, anything that will make the environment seem less scary and strange. That goes for you too - put favorite music on you iPod, bring a favorite book or magazine to help keep your mind off of worrying while you wait.
2. Plan on indulging him in snuggles and love - it will be good for *both* of you. Let all thoughts that you could spoil him go out the window - this is the time for anything that makes him (and you) feel happy and safe.
3. Ask someone to do something special with Sarah, too. She may feel left out since E will be getting so much attention. Plus she's probably not going to really understand what's going on and may be worried about E and about mom and dad too. Maybe a fun day trip with Grandma or a friend's family?
4. Ditto Kristen's suggestion to bring extra clothes for yourself - lots of people get nauseous from anesthesia, and smelling like vomit all day is not comforting to anyone! :-)
Good luck, and you and E will be in my prayers!
I don't have much to add...
Erin, please know we will be praying for you guys.
I have no advice on the hospital thing as we haven't had to go down that road. I just wanted to say I will be thinking of you guys tomorrow and looking for an update when you are able to.
I don't have any advice either. Just wanted to say I would be thinking and praying for you and your little guy.
I'll be keeping little E and your family in my prayers this week. Luckily, we have not had to do the hospital route yet. We've came close three times though - a bout with nasty croup/allergies that left Emma needing the breathing treatments but if she didn't have a wet diaper while we were at the doctor's office they were going to admit her for dehydration. She peed! She also gets HIGH fevers whenever she gets a fever - like at least 103.6 most times. She was nearly 106 one time when we were at the doctor's office waiting to be seen. The fever wasn't really responding to Tylenol or Motrin so they gave her a "cocktail" of both and it finally dropped to 103 within about an hour. If she had reached 107 they were going to admit her because she was really out of it and was only 10 months old. That was the scariest time - seeing her so lethargic. They drew blood from her finger and couldn't get enough and two nurses were tugging and squeezing on her arms while I held her - it was horrible. This past Labor Day weekend, she was running around fine and then turned clingy on me and I touched her forehead and tummy and she was burning up. We took her temp and it was 103.6 - the usual! We got her into the on call doctor on Sunday and it was chaotic. They sent her to the hospital for labs - the lab sent us back to the doctor - finally they drew blood after arguing about her being two and needing a finger prick. Ugh - I made them draw blood like an adult with the butterfly needle and she finally calmed down and it turned out she had a UTI. Anyways, sorry to ramble but I just dispise when they suggest bloodwork now!
Hi Erin,
I don't have any advice for the hospital stay either since thankfully we haven't gone down that road, but I just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you guys and praying! Hugs!!!
Oooh I know this all too well unfortunately. My little guy was born with all kinds of health problems, starting from when I had pre-eclampsia and he had to be delivered via emergency c-section, to an eye infection that he had to have surgery on at 5 months old, then ear infections that never went away that caused him to have mastoiditis that almost took him from us. He was rushed to a special hospital 2 hours away where he under went emergency surgery that lasted 4 hours, it was very risky and one of the biggest possibilities which they told me was likely it could happen was they could hit a nerve that would cause him to never be able to move his face again...no smiles, no blinking...nothing. It was the scariest time of my life, I think I lost 10lbs that week while he was in the hospital. We never left his side.
My advice anytime your child has health issues...PRAY! The power of prayer is so underestimated, God watched over us and has been ever since. We now have a healthy 2.5 year old. Of course our situation was unexpected so we didn't have time to prepare, but having family and friends that were willing to drive 2 hours to visit helped alot. Don't be afraid to call on anyone, those who care will be there.
Good luck Erin! Lots of prayers your way! :)
Hi Erin,
I found your blog via Marilee and I love reading seeing your beautiful pictures.
My daughter had to get her tonsils/adnoids out last year when she was 5 yrs old. Although it was a minor surgery we were all so nervous too.
A couple things that helped us:
*She wore footie jammies because she didn't have to be changed in to her gown until the actual surgery and it was cold in the pre-op room. We went and picked out a special pair just for the occasion.
*I brought a special small present that she could open while we were waiting in the pre-op area. It helped calm her nerves because she was excited to open it and got to play with it while we waited. I think it even helped calm my husband and I down too.
*It was very hard when she woke up and we got to go in because her throat was sore and she was crying. But the nurse gave her some pain meds and also a medicine to ease nausea (at my request, didn't want to add vomitting to an already sore throat!). I LOVE nurses as they take such good care of little ones! I crawled in bed with her and that helped both of us ;o)
*Having someone to help with Sarah will be good too so you can focus on your little one. My daughter really wanted someone right by her side for the first day after her surgery.
Lots of prayers for Baby E and the rest of the family too!!
Thanks for writing a post on this Erin. This is a great MM post for those of us who haven't thought about this topic. I cried like a baby when I got my tonsils out at 20 and I had to leave my mom, yes 20... but it was my first surgery.
Thanks for helping a 1st time mommy feel more prepared in case something should happen.
We will be thinking of you guys tomorrow, and sending lots of prayers!
I do not need to know the details of little E's surgery, but I have a suspision that I know. My nephew had a congenital issue at birth that had to be surgically corrected at 9 months on a very delicate part of his body. If it is the same surgery, he did awesome! He was sore for a couple of days. You would think it would be easier to do BEfore the boys are mobile, but I am sure htey have their reasons for 9 months being the magic time. ANyway, my nephew was back to himself in a just a couple of days. We'll be praying for peace for you and Brent as well as a quick recovery for E.
You are in our prayers. Your love and patience is the best thing you can offer Baby E and I know you all will pull through it with postivie things to say.
Buddy post at www.themarlinclan.blogspot.com
Please excuse my typos and misspelling in my previous post:)That's what I get for trying to go fast and reread before I publish.
Hi Erin-
Josh has had two surgeries this year already, so I know how you are feeling right now. I am always a nervous wreck too! It looks like you have been given some really great advice...A couple of things we were not told ahead of time that would have helped a little bit:
1. If you get to go in the operating room with him while they put him under, it is a bit scary. He will essentially 'stop' breathing when they administer the anesthesia, and make horrible gasping noises until they get him on the respirator. It is normal, but horrifying to any mama! And of course, that is when they make you leave...oh, the tears!
2. They will probably come and get you when he is starting to wake up, or just before. He will be very floppy and jerky. Coming out of the anesthesia is a little rough sometimes. Josh cried, or should I say screamed for at least 30 minutes while he tried to wake up, both times. It seemed like an eternity...nothing comforted him.
The silver lining: Kids are so resilient! He will bounce back to his normal chipper self in no time, making you wonder why you so afraid to begin with. And like you said, nothing is ever minor when it is your own child. I just don't know how mama's with severely sick children do it...
We'll be thinking of you guys tomorrow!
oh erin (big hugs) its so hard to watch our babies go through "stuff"
i will keep you and E in my thoughts tomorrow, just rememeber its harder on us than them!
my oldest had to have surgery this past feb to repair a hypospadias and while it was the worst day of my life, he flew through it with flying colors!!!
i wish E and quick and uneventful recovery!
To Joey--(Erin Too)
I read your comment above, dont know if you read others, but if it is hypospadism your nephew had corrected, I would love to hear more! I am having such a hard time with what do to. I also know ther are alot of different degrees of it. Any info would be great
NurseRachet04@aol.com
Hey,
After spending hours upon hours in the hospital when my sweet Jada had Pneumonia I can surely say, I wish I'd had this list. Our stay was unexpected so no preps were made. All I can say is that being calm and 100% for your sweet boy, making sure he knows you are keeping him safe in that environment is sooooo important. Though Jada was 2 and knowingly freaked out with all the breathing machines, icepacks, shots, and tubes, I'm sure baby E's intuition will most likely be the same and he'll be relying on you and your affect for security the most. Hang in there and keep relying on your faith the ENTIRE time you are there, because those scary thoughts like to creep in when they are not wanted. I will keep you all in my prayers.
I don't have any advice to add, but know that I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
thinking of you friend...9 months DID seem so far away.
All I can say is stick up for your child when your instincts tell you to.
I regret that I let an inexperienced doctor (with newborns) attempt to get an iv into our two week old baby, who had serious RSV, for 40 minutes. She was bruised on her arms, wrist, feet and head. She screamed that terrible, heart wrenching newborn cry the entire time; I eventually had to leave the room because I thought I was going to throw up. She ended up with an iv in her head. When we went up to the pediatric unit, there were experienced nurses right there (one floor directly up) that could have put the iv in with no trouble at all. I could tell the ER nurses were angry with the doctor while he was trying to get the needle in; there was blood spurted all over his lab coat, and all over the bed and their expressions spoke louder than words. I wish to this day I had stepped in and demanded someone else with more experience do it.
Hopefully you won't have any issues or complications...but I encourage you to be strong if you need to...I will always live with the regret that I let someone do that to my newborn daughter.
Oh, and I'll keep you in my prayers!
Here's to a quick, easy procedure and recovery!
My son had to be put under general anesthesia twice for endoscopies in his first 18 months. (And spent one overnight.) And one thing that really helped me get through it was to think of the doctors and nurses coming in to work that day. While I was understandably a basket case, it was reassuring to think that none of them was getting in their cars that morning to head to work biting their nails and stressing about the procedures they were going to perform. It's just another day at the office for them -- it's what they're trained to do, and they do it well. Every. Single. Day.
Good luck. I'm sure it will go smoothly!
I just wanted to send you and your entire family a big hug. Ty was hospitalized when he was a baby and it was hard on both of us. He's hard when they don't understand and they think mommy/daddy can fix anything. Teagan was in NICU and the one thing I totally regret is not getting enough rest myself. I refused to leave him and was flat exhausted. I wish I would have listened and taken a few hours to sleep, my mind would have been clearer, that's for sure. So many wonderful tips here, I hope it makes your experience a little easier.
You are in our thoughts for tomorrow. I am sure everything will go well and he'll be back to normal before you know it.
erin --
My thoughts from the mom in me, as well as the RN --
Most importantly, don't be afraid to question anything that is going on. Do not worry about asking stupid questions -- there are no stupid questions! Also -- if you are uncomfortable with something -- SAY SO!!! If you feel that something isn't right -- hang onto your mama's intuition.
Remember to show how E how calm you are (even if only on the outside) because it will really help him before, during, and after.
Also -- don't forget how many people will be lifting up your whole family in prayers throughout it all!
No advice but just well wishes and lots of prayers being sent out to Little E and his momma, dada, and big sis!! HUGS to all of you!!!
I forgot to add -- it doesn't hurt to bring your own lovie with you, pillow, blankie, whatever you need! Charlie snuggled on my pillow during his overnight hospital visit and got himself quite comfy!
Snacks are necessary too -- you can't be of help to your family if your blood sugar drops from not eating -- don't forget to take care of yourself too!
Hi Erin, I don't have anything to add today, but know that we will be praying for baby E and for all of you too...
No surgery is a minor one when it’s your BABY! It is the hardest thing to put your child’s life in the hands of a stranger. I never truly understood that until I had to do it. You’ll be in my prayers, Erin.
Not sure I have much advice, but maybe you can glean some info. from our story…
Our Gwyneth had to have “minor” eye surgery just after her 2nd birthday…a very hard age.
All in all, it was a pretty good experience, but…
She was so hysterical when they tried to take her vitals that they never did get them. I’m sure the not eating or drinking had something to do with her attitude. It didn’t help that the nurse was less than friendly. I’ve never had good luck with nurses. Maybe it’s just me…
They separated us before they did any IV’s or anything of the sort. It was pretty traumatic for her. She was panicking and crying for me even though they had already given her a kiddy-cocktail which relaxed her until she seemed drunk. They later told me they had to drug her more to before they got started. So, be prepared to be separated when he’s still alert. Not sure why they do that? Not sure I wanna know. But I’m a “follow the rules” sorta girl also, and so I figured they knew what method works best.
I’d have to say the hardest part was coming out of it. She was a BEAR! Soooo thirsty, but they wouldn’t let us use her sippy cup. They didn’t want her chuggin it down and throwing up. So, instead she had to drink from a straw. She chugged anyway, and ended up downing three cups of juice before she would calm down! (and never threw-up!) She slept the whole 2 hour ride home. Sat up with her brothers for a while. Then napped as usual and was right back on schedule.
I brought a book expecting to be there all day, but they were so prompt and efficient I didn’t even have time to open it!
okay, wow 30 comments. you are popular!! :)
you know i don't have any munchkins of my own, but i couldn't let today pass without telling you that the whole cobb family will be in my thoughts tonight and tomorrow. i know everything is going to be just perfect - in fact, tomorrow evening you'll forget why you were a little worried.
teresa (mrs.obie)
My only bit of advice is pre-admittance/pre-procedure. Remember that hospitals rarely run on time, and you'll want to have plenty of distractions for E & yourself. I've spent 6 hours at the pediatric cardiology dept for a simple appointment - it was agonizing being trapped in a tiny room without enough to do.
Please know you're being thought of & prayed for. Can't wait to hear that E has come through it all perfectly.
Hi Erin,
Just want to say I'll be thinking of you guys. I bet he's a brave little guy, he'll be great.
praying for you all tomorrow!
I don't have any more advice. I've never been down this road with my little ones other than my daughter needing stiches in her lip.
As an RN my advice would be to not be afraid of speaking up if you're not clicking with who's taking care of him. A few here have already mentioned this. We've all either been taken care of ourselves or had someone we love taken care of by someone who long ago should have moved along another career path. I've worked with nurses like that! The vast majority are kind and caring. You can, if need be, "fire" your nurse or whoever it is you're not liking. Most people are too timid to do it but I say if it's my kid involved I'd do whatever would ensure superb care!
Oh! I hit publish before telling you I'll be praying for your little guy and you and your husband!
Cobb Family,
Good Luck tomorrow. At the hospital I work at they give the kids a bear to take to surgery with them -they usually put a mask and hat on them also it turns their attention to something else. By all means ask questions. When Sara had her tonsils out they didn't put the IV in until they took her back to surgery and they had given her some anesthia.
Thinking of you guys as you prepare for tomorrow. We'll call and check in in a few days. love you.
I have no experience with this area @ all, but I promise to do what I can and pray for your family tomorrow and the day to follow as you all recover. Amy
Erin - no advice here, but wanted to send thoughts and prayers your way. Hope all goes well and we see you and Ephraim back here soon!
Prayers and love to you all tomorrow!
Erin-
much, much love and prayers being sent to you and the fam. I will be thinking of E and you all -all day tomorrow. I have nothing new to add except that I know what it's like. I had a baby in the NICU for over 2 weeks and I think I cried every day. my poor baby boy was like a pin cushion most days between IVs and meds and stuff. but he powered through. kids are so resiliant! God bless them!
good luck to you and hugs and squishes!
becky
I don't have any experience with this, but I did want to say that all of you are in my thoughts & prayers!
My daughter, then 18 months old, spent two weeks in a children's hospital last year. That time included being sedated three times for various procedures and once under general anesthesia for surgery. She had previously been sedated to have ear tubes, too. When she woke up, she just thrashed. It was scary and frustrating, but at least for the ear tubes, we could leave the building, and that helped her calm down.
During our marathon stay in the hospital, the pacifier (which we were gearing up to get rid of prior to) was a lifesaver. It helped to calm her during all of the tests and needle sticks.
Luckily my kids have never had to have any procedures done in the hospital but I wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts today and I'm sure Baby E will do great.
Thoughts and prayers for the surgery today and for a quick recovery for Ephraim too!
Colleen W.
No advice here, either--knocking on wood right now as I say we've not had to experience the hospital. Sending thoughts and prayers to your family today!
Paul had surgery, when he was 4 years old. I totally understand where you are coming from! It is such an emotionally and draining time, to go through. When it is all over, we are thankful that the surgery is over and it is our time to give the love and understanding that is needed during thier time to heal.
Love to you all...
Hope all is well today with Buddy Ro and his worried mama! You're in my thoughts and prayers!
I'm thinking about you guys!!!
Nick had emergency surgery when he was about 7 months old for what they thought was a strangulated hernia. Turned out to be a very angry swollen lymph node so they were lucky enough to inject it with antibiotics and sew him back up. Unfortunately, it was "emergency" surgery so I had no time to prepare anything and was totally scrambling. We were lucky enough to be able to take him home that night too. He woke up from surgery hungry and extremely pissed and all he could have was water. When they're that young they don't really understand so all you can do is give them their lovey (in his case his blankie) and hold them.
Hope all went well...sending love and hugs your way!!
Sending lots of prayers your way!
I'm glad to hear all is well. I just wanted to say thanks for the Mama Monday posts. You think of such great topics that really help a first-time Mom! I love your blog- thanks for sharing.
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